Change Your Thoughts

How to Begin Dramatic Change the Right Way

Posted by on Apr 3, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

The world changes around us everyday. We experience change as an outsider all the time. Yet, when we want to create a sustainable change in our own lives we often struggle.

Why is change so hard for me? It’s a question that we ask ourselves when we can’t seem to change to be the type of person that we truly want to be. To change, we must decide to change. We must choose to change. It’s said different ways from different writers and bloggers, but I’d like to elaborate on the type of choice necessary to instill a change deep within who you are. To change your very being and naturally live life in a way that supports the change every day, whatever the change may be.

Dont Change a Thing Change Everything Advice SayingMore Than a Thought

Choosing to change has to be more than a thought. It has to be more than a mental choice to change. You have to live the choice.

One tip that accompanies choosing to change is to tell everyone you can about your change. I argue that you shouldn’t have to tell anyone. The type of choice necessary for deep, true change means you’ll be living that choice every second of every day. It sounds dramatic, but that’s what we want. We want a dramatic change.

In reality, I’d shoot for more of a 90/10 split. Live the choice 90% of the time, and relaxing your discipline 10% of the time to provide a change of pace and keep things interesting.

Your choice to change should be evident in your daily life. When I wanted to improve my posture, I took the back off of my work chair. Did it work? You bet. Did people look at me funny or ask me what I was doing? They sure did, and I explained my reasons for doing so.

If being different and encountering resistance or inquiries worries you, then you lack confidence. That’s okay. I had extremely low confidence in myself and my choices at one point in my life. My confidence dramatically increased when I started practicing my power to change.

I chose to get in better shape and eat better, and I lost 70 pounds. It was a very empowering experience.

I admit it is circular logic. Confidence comes from choosing to change, and choosing to change takes confidence. Once you wiggle your way into that circular logic you’ll realize your true power and begin rapid growth.

Important Realization

You aren’t special. You are capable of what any other person on the planet is capable. If one tactic doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean nothing will work for you. Keep experimenting and trying different strategies until you find what works. You will get there if you keep trying.

Think of it like this. Every day you take a step in the right direction, you are one step closer to the destination. It is a simple, unavoidable fact.

Start to think of how to do things instead of why you can’t do them. Change your thought patterns attached to new experiences and change the way you react to them. Instead of adding another item to the list of the impossible, start adding items to a list of the will do’s or have done’s.

The following mantra finally kicked me out of inaction straight to inaction:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”

Empty your bucket of know how, and fill it with a new way to live.

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Think like Isaac Newton: 8 Ways to Become an Accurate Thinker

Posted by on Mar 31, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

What do you find difficult to think accurately on?

How accurate is your thought towards your goal?

Do you want to take your thinking faculty to the next level?

cyt accurate thinkingScientists are said to be the accurate thinkers of all time because they work with fact. There is a scientific method of carrying out experiments which prove their belief.

As a science student in school, I decide to apply the scientific method of getting fact into my way of setting goals and it works like magic. In fact, it helps me to achieve my goals with ease. It’s this method I want to share with you today.

We are in the information age and because of this we are bombarded with loads of information on a daily basis. Due to the noises here and there, we find it difficult sometimes to think accurately on a goal we want to achieve.

I’m not saying meditation alone won’t quiet your mind and give you focus, but it will do you more good if you guide yourself with this approach I want to share with you here. It will also help you gain deep insight into your goal and cut off any form of distraction on your way to success.

Sir Isaac Newton himself said he was able to discover law of gravity by continuous thinking about the Apple that fell down in front of him. Of course as a scientist, he followed the scientific method below to prove his belief.

Scientific method of carrying out an experiment

  1. Title
  2. Purpose
  3. Apparatus
  4. Record data
  5. Error analysis
  6. Apply formula
  7. Graphic representation
  8. Conclusion

This scientific method is very powerful in such a way that if it is properly applied, it helps to track every little detail about a goal. It also helps to make a goal look as if it had already been achieved. And again, this method eliminates any form of assumption and provides accuracy.

I observe that if I set a goal and I was able to think straight on how to achieve it, I will definitely go and get it done in a short period of time before I know it. On the other hand, it’s very hard to achieve a thing you can’t even think accurately on.

But if you follow the method I want to show you here, to set a goal and achieve it will become easier.

Method of making thought accurate

1. Title – What you want to achieve? Begin by giving your goal a title. The essence of naming a thing is for easy recognition. When you give your goal a name, it will serve as a guide and helps you stay on point.

2. Purpose – Why do you want to achieve your goal? Know that, if the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable. In other for you not to abuse your goal, write out the purpose why you want to achieve it.

3. Apparatus – What are the tools you will need to work with? Note all of the instruments that will help you to achieve your goal and make sure you get them. A single material you fail to get might prevent you from achieving the result you want.

4. Record data – Has anyone achieved your goal before? How did they go about it? Try to go through recorded data and find out how they were able to get the result. Then map out how you’ll achieve yours, too.

5. Error analysis – What are the precautions? If you carefully analyze errors, you will find out about some actions that are meant to be avoided. And in case they show up you will quickly look for an escape route.

6. Graphic representation – Can you sketch out your goal? If you represent your goal in a visible form, it will manifest quicker. The truth is, if you can hold the image of what you want in your mind, then you can hold it in your hand.

7. Apply formula – Can you come up with an ultimate formula that will help you achieve your goal with ease? What is your winning strategy or your selling point? Remember that winners don’t do different things, they only do things in a different way.

8. Conclusion – What do you think will be your possible outcome? It’s always a good idea to begin with the end in mind. Know that sometimes you’ll succeed while sometimes you’ll fail, but there is always a lesson to learn. It’s those lessons that made you who you are today.

Sterling W. Sill said, “In baseball we keep an accurate record of the hits, runs, and errors of each individual player. Life is also a great game, and in life the statistics are much more important than they are in a ball game. One of our human weaknesses in life is that when we are losing the game, we don’t always like to keep track of the score. Certainly we are not very enthusiastic about putting the errors down on the paper, and most people don’t even know what their individual batting average is. This makes our success much more difficult both to figure out and to attain… we cannot separate our success from statistics. If each day we could see what God wrote in his book about our work for that day, it would certainly motivate us to make better scores.”

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How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Loneliness

Posted by on Mar 10, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

Loneliness is often associated with being weak or being a loser. Most people see it as a dark, negative state. I used to think that too, until I started studying it more seriously.

Here Is How To Understand It Better

Imagine if you didn’t have the sensation we call “hunger.” You’d never feel the urge to go feed yourself. You’d probably get very skinny, and maybe even damage your body, without knowing it. You’d deprive yourself of essential nutrients, and would probably die very young. In that sense, hunger is essential to your survival.

Girl with chainImagine now if you didn’t have the “thirst” mechanism – same thing, you’d barely have an urge to drink, end up with dehydrated and damage your body. Again, the urge to drink keeps you alive.

It’s the same thing with “physical pain.” If you didn’t have it, you could get into a lot of trouble. For example, you wouldn’t have the instinct to take your hand out of a fire and end up burning yourself.

These urges, although we take them for granted and see them as negative, they’re there to help us survive.

Loneliness Is Just As Natural

Loneliness is there to signal to us that we need to go meet other people and socialize. It’s actually a good thing, now that you know it’s there to help you.

Loneliness is there as a signal, it makes us pay attention to our vital need for social connection. We’re just not made to live isolated, and it’s there to help us remember that.

But wait, does loneliness help us survive, like the hunger, thirst, and physical pain do?

Loneliness used to save us from imminent death. In the ancient times, being alone meant that you couldn’t hunt animals so easily, and couldn’t protect yourself against predators like bears or lions. So, the more isolated you were, the more likely you would die.

Therefore, yes; loneliness played a role of saving us from trouble; it kept us together.

But, now we live in a very different world, don’t we?

Indeed! We no longer have to hunt a big giraffe to eat; and we certainly don’t risk being attacked by a lion… well, at least most of us don’t. :)

But we still have the same reactions to social isolation. We still can’t bear living a life deprived of social connection. We still need understanding, care, love, impact, communication, and interaction. We deeply know that “if you can’t share your happiness, what’s the point?”

Bottom line: loneliness is useful signal that tells you to go seek social connection.

Here Is How Loneliness Can “Trap” You

In our minds, feeling lonely is still associated with being rejected, being at risk, and danger. For that very reason, unfortunately, it can create a vicious cycle in your life. Not only do you feel lonely, but you also feel rejected, threatened, and secluded.

This makes you think that most people don’t want you around; it makes you so scared of rejection, that you think that you’re better off not trying any social activity at all.

That nervousness that comes with loneliness makes you want to protect yourself. You start to perceive a lot more risk of rejection and criticism in socializing with people.

This fear makes you retract yourself from others, and distract yourself with Tv, internet, etc… which leads to more isolation, which leads to more loneliness.

It’s a trap.

If you’re feeling lonely right now, understand that the fear you have of rejection is just associated with loneliness; they come together. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you; you just FEEL like rejection is just around the corner. It doesn’t make it true.

What To Do About It

When you feel lonely, the right approach is to snap out of that trap. It’s time to seek social connection.

The immediate fix is to call or visit someone you know well, an old friend, a family member; you can also do a random act of kindness or contribute to a charity.

Those short social connections physically remind you that it’s okay to be around people; and that there is no need to ìprotectî yourself from others.

The long-term solution to loneliness of course is to learning social skills, and making friends.

In my Free Social Skills Newsletter, you can get tips, techniques, and friendship principles, that will help you have the social life you want.

See you there,

-Paul Sanders

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How Changing Your Perspective Can Change Your Life

Posted by on Mar 7, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

To everything in life, there’s always a negative and a positive perspective.

I didn’t start getting serious with life until late 2008. But before then, I saw every bad situation as bad and every good situation as good. And I bet many of us still see things this way.

Then I laid my hands on a self help book by Brian Tracy, “Goals”, that talked about setting goals and adding value. That’s when everything changed! I started seeing bad situations as challenges with hidden lessons that can be learned by anyone. And guess what?

human thinkingThose bad situations turned out to be good ones for me – all because I made up my mind to see the positive in all the negativity.

When you see a glass on your table filled halfway with water, you could say, “That glass is half empty, why don’t I pour out the water.” or, “That glass is half full, why don’t I fill it up.”

You’ll notice that from the first question, you’re actually making the condition of the glass worse. That’s the negative view.

From the second question, you’re making the glass feel a whole lot better with itself (if that were possible). That’s the positive perspective.

Unfortunately, most of us prefer the negative perspective by default. The fact is that it is not our fault.

Our environment, the circumstances we pass through on a daily basis, the negative people we meet, and the bad experiences in our past all contribute to this negative perspective. It becomes the new normal and we suddenly stop seeing anything wrong with it.

But what do you think is the real reason behind this negative perspective?

Is it due to the way we are treated? Or is it because we just want to act that way?

Nope!

We choose to see things negatively because of our emotions.

Negative emotions give birth to negative reactions

When a negative emotion like anger sets in, you automatically don’t see the good in anything. That’s why it becomes so easy for us to enter destruction mode and either curse the driver who’s entering our lane illegally, break something, or go to the bottle. The driver suddenly becomes worthless; that TV you’re about to break looks like crap to you and you feel valueless the moment you take your first gulp from that liquor bottle.

The emotion you feel at any given time determines your perspective at that time. So, in order to see the positive side of any negative situation, you need to first change your emotion from the negative to the positive.

And how do you do that?

Simple! Let’s do some math.

Before you move from a negative number to a positive one (if you still remember your high school math), you’ll pass through zero. Zero is a neutral number. For your emotion to change from the negative, you must first ask yourself one question;

“What is this trying to teach me?”

By asking yourself this question, you’ll suddenly change from “feeling mode” to “thinking mode” in a snap.

Let’s see some live examples of how to apply this and how it’ll ultimately change your life.

1. You’re driving to work and a crazy rough driver enters onto your lane, without giving you any signal.

Your negative perspective: This guy is trying to kill me!

Your emotion: You get angry and probably scream at him.

What is this trying to teach you? To be patient with people, no matter how intolerable they seem.

Your positive perspective: You’ll believe that the driver really doesn’t know anything about driving the right way and so, you won’t let his action ruin your day. You then hope that the law catches up with him so he can learn his lesson on the don’ts of driving.

2. Your teenage son screams at you for not allowing him go out with his friends that night.

Your negative perspective: You get angry because your son isn’t listening to you and doesn’t respect you. Your next reaction is to shout him down or ground him to his room.

What is this trying to teach you? To learn how to put yourself in your son’s shoes so you can understand how to deal with him.

Your positive perspective: You feel love for him because he is your son and is still ignorant of the dangers of night outings. You then try to make him understand that you’re not doing what you’re doing because you hate him.

3. You go for a job interview and are not accepted.

Your negative perspective: Grief comes upon you and you start to feel that you’re not good enough.

What is this trying to teach you? This is probably not the right job for you or that you weren’t accepted because something is missing from your resume.

Your positive perspective: You’ll go make yourself more qualified and try another job vacancy.

4. You fail an exam that you prepared hard for.

Your negative perspective: You blame yourself for not passing and probably conclude that you’re dumb!

What is this trying to teach you? To change your reading pattern. Something is wrong with what you read, when you read and where you read.

Your positive perspective: You’ll ask yourself, “Why didn’t I answer those questions correctly?” You then change your reading times and pattern.

5. After 1 year of marriage, your wife, who pays the rent and major house expenses, gets a divorce.

Your negative perspective: You feel heartbroken because in this case, you’re the victim (you love her but she no longer loves you). You’ll feel sorry for yourself and join your friends who are bums.

What is this trying to teach you? To learn how to become a better husband and overcome major emotional setbacks when they occur.

Your positive perspective: You’ll start to see the divorce as an opportunity to start fresh. You probably get a new job or start a small business of your own.

6. Your car breaks down on your way to a very important meeting which could cost you your job.

Your negative perspective: You get out of your car, curse and kick it. You start to blame your car for trying to get you fired, even before you are fired.

What is this trying to teach you? Take precautions at the right time.

Your positive perspective: You blame yourself for not doing the right thing at the right time. Your engine has been showing signs that it needed repair but for some reason you neglected it (note: blaming yourself for what happens to you means you are taking responsibility for your actions. This is the best way to get rid of negative emotions).

Did you notice anything common among the scenarios above?

You’ll see that in all the positive perspectives, you concentrated on one thing…

Value!

Your positive perspective was based on either increasing the value of yourself or your offender. It is at this point that your perspective changes and those negative emotions vanish.

Once you concentrate on the lessons you can learn from any negative circumstance in which you find yourself, your perspective automatically becomes positive.

And sure, I donít need to tell you that you life changes for the better, because it does!

The moment you start to see life for what it can be, you will become the kind of person that you should be. You’ll automatically become more positive about the negativities around you. The good thing is that you donít even have to try changing your thoughts, because your mentality changes. Just concentrate on increasing value and your personal values will also increase. That’ll be the ideal YOU!

How do you see negative situations? What’s keeping you from adding value and becoming the ideal YOU?

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How to Crush Shyness and Be More Outgoing in Life

Posted by on Mar 6, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

I’m not a very outgoing person by nature.

Yet, I’ve found the way of the world to be rewarding and made for social and outgoing people.

Outgoing people seem to have better relationships, more opportunities and be in more leadership positions.

So although I feel like an introvert by nature and would rather spend hours by myself locked up in the attic, I’ve learned to become more outgoing as well.

How did I learn?

group of young peopleI observe what outgoing people do, took mental notes of social butterflies, read books on how to be outgoing and spent way too much time with politicians and political candidates (from my day job).

And you know, there’s a lot of good news here I can share with you.

Being personable, social and outgoing are not inborn qualities.

They’re simply a mindset and skills to be learned.

If you’re committed to being more outgoing and personable, plan to apply the 11 tips I’m going to share with you below.  

If you’re committed to harnessing the tips below, you’ll have more opportunities and advancement in your life and career.

No, you don’t have to be outgoing to be a success but, if you are inclined to learn the behavior of the socialites or simply become aware of the tricks of the trade, read more below.

Use these 11 skills responsibly and ethically to be more outgoing and improve your personal life and career:

1)    Be aware of you self-limiting beliefs. More than likely, you believe that you can’t be outgoing and that by itself is limiting your ability to be more personable.

Confront thoughts which remind you that you’re not a good conversationalist, aren’t very outspoken or you can’t be the life of the party. .

Here’s the thing; you don’t have to be the life of the party. You don’t have to be the one person who tries to be the center of attention in your attempt to get everyone to notice you.

You can simply learn to make genuine and heartfelt connections with people. Allow others to get to know you by being available to them.

Don’t feel like you can’t do this – be open to learning skills that you can use to make deeper connections.

And no, you won’t be annoying or become “popular, if that’s what you fear.

You’ll simply be more engaging and friendlier.  

Also, on the mindset front, be open to the fact that interacting with some people may be futile.

Some people won’t welcome your friendship, others might not be interested and a handful might even be rude.

Don’t allow a few bad encounters to prevent you from reaching out to other new people.

2)    Change your mindset from wanting to giving. Most people get scared to network or meet new people because you imagine yourself being “needy” or wanting things from other people. This is simply not true.

There’s nothing more generous and unselfish like friendship and connection.

On a similar vein, you can change your mindset by being conscious about the purpose of every interaction. I’ve learned this from some very effective elected officials.

In many encounters you have with them, they’re looking for a way to help you.

They refer you to a colleague who can help, suggest a group you should get involved with, help you network with someone else at the event, ask you to get in touch with someone in their office to help you with a problem.

Do the same. What can you offer to the people you’re meeting? Probe your new acquaintances to see how you can add value in their life.

3)    Practice the art of small talk with people you know. You despise small talk. A lot of us introverted people do but it’s an essential skill to open up deeper and more substantive connections.

Practice the art of small talk with people you already know. When you are in small gatherings, work events or family events, try chatting people up.

Practice small talk with people you know so it won’t be as awkward with strangers.

Get over the fear of not knowing what to talk about by discussing the first thing that comes to mind: what brought them there, how are they connected to the host, what are they doing the next day, which movie did they watch recently.

Bonus Tip: One great place to go to practice small talk is your local Toastmasters club.

Toastmasters clubs are literally located in every part of the world and bring people together to practice public speaking. This will give you a forum not only to chit chat with others but practice the art of public speaking which will undoubtedly give you the confidence to be comfortable in most social settings.

4)    Stop talking about yourself – people don’t care about you initially.

And if you’re not sure what the heck to talk about, be inquisitive and interested in others. Pepper them with questions about their life and background.

Find out their life story.

Another effective approach to creating a bond with someone is to try to figure out what your common interests are: who you both know and what kind of shared experiences you have.

If you meet someone who grew up in the same town you did or traveled to the same parts of the world you have, you are instantly going to create a bond with them.

Unfortunately, you’re not going to find out what connects you with someone until you initiate some inquiries.  Question your new acquaintance with the purpose of finding out what you share in common.

Find a common bond and you’ve made a solid connection!

5)    Ask the host to introduce you. If you’re terrified of meeting new people, the host would be an ideal person to introduce you to others so ask them to.

If the host is tied up, look for the person in the room that seems to know everyone – the person with all the connections.

“Do you mind introducing me to some of your friends here?” you can politely ask the super-connected attendee.

They’ll gladly do so because you allow the connector to help you which they love to do and because the connector can add value to someone else by introducing you to others who might have a similar background as yourself.

6)    Find the courage to go to events and meet new people. There’s no easy way about this. If you want to be more outgoing, you probably have to do what you hate most – being in new surroundings with people you don’t know asking you all kinds of inquisitive questions.

But here’s the deal, if you’re intent on being more outgoing, you have to bite the cheese platter and get out to some events.

I used to be anxious at every networking event I used to go to but soon realized that each one was filled with interesting people, always connected me with at least one good person to know and helped me get over my anxiety of going to events.

The only way to become accustomed to going to social events is to go to them.

Practice being uncomfortable at each event until you feel at ease. The more events you attend, the easier it becomes to attend a future event. And the more events you attend and socialize at, the less awkward each social interaction becomes.

There’s no way around this – you have to go to events and be willing to get uncomfortable for a minute, as you mingle with folks you don’t know.

Bonus Tip: If you’re terrified of going to “networking events” or parties where you feel like you don’t have much in common with anyone, look for social situations around your interests and hobby.

It is very easy to mingle if you’re all yoginis, love exotic foods from around the world or like hiking.

7)    Be present. Listen. Did you know that you come across interesting, genuine and charismatic simply by being present in a conversation and listening?

Especially in social environments, which can be dominated by social bees who want to be the center of the attention.

You’ll be a welcome difference by simply listening to what others have to say and being responsive to their stories and interests.

Popular people seem to like to talk about themselves. They especially enjoy the company of those who are interested in hearing about their lives so use this to your advantage.

Make it a point to take a break from your cell phone. Simply by not checking your cell phone every ten minutes, not playing games on your Iphone or pretending to be always looking out for other more interesting people in the room to talk to, you offer your new acquaintance something no one else can offer – priceless attention and interest.

Practice the art of listening and being present at social events. Try not to jump into your own stories, but simply hear the other person out. Ask follow up questions about the other person instead of hijacking the conversation.

8)    Visualize being an outgoing person.  Who is the most social and outgoing person you know in your life? Who do you watch on television or in Hollywood oozing with friendliness?

Observe that person and take mental notes. See how they greet others, what questions they pose and how they present themselves in social settings.

You can’t duplicate someone else’s style because that’s not you but you can incorporate what you observe into your own social skills.

Also, more than specific skills or ability, focus on the air of confidence around the person.

Visualize yourself being confident, vivacious, interesting and being sure of yourself.

What would it feel like to be comfortable in your own skin and at ease in crowds. How assertive would you feel? How sure of yourself? Cool? Collected?

Capture that emotional feeling to replicate at future social events.

9)    Don’t judge. It’s very easy to walk into a room of friendly, social and pleasant people to be simply judgmental.

Your inability to mingle like some in the room may bring out the worst feelings about yourself and negativity towards others.

“Boring….attention-seeking sociopaths or… reality show wannabes,” you might be hypothesizing.

It’s easier to cut people down and throw peppers on someone’s parade but it prevents you from being the person you want to be.

Mentally slamming the other attendees or having disparaging thoughts about social butterflies simply paralyzes you from being your best self and friendly self.

Alternate mindset: Appreciation. Go into the room with the spirit of gratefulness and appreciation for every person you meet.

Appreciate the time they take to speak to you. Be grateful for first-time conversation. Be thankful for exchanging business cards or contact information.

Focus on the positive values and what you’re grateful for with each person you meet. It helps you stay positive and in good spirits.

10) Be true to yourself. Be willing to be vulnerable. You might think of some fantasy person with a fabulous lifestyle of the rich and famous who might be the life of most parties.

Quite the contrary. As far as party-goers and attendees in social settings go, those with more colorful and checkered backgrounds are the most interesting people.

Talking to someone about their Harvard pedigree and how their grandfather was vice-president of the United States in the 1924 might seem impressive, but doesn’t help in creating deeper connections.

Those with perfect lives, spouses, wealth, fame and glamorous experiences might have little time or interest in you.

Similarly, there’s no need for you to portray a perfect life.

Be who you are. Be true to yourself. Tell people your failings and failures, in measured quantities, of course.

No need to paint a perfect picture of yourself – you’ll impress no one.

No need to pretend to know many influential people or have connections in Hollywood.

Everyone values authenticity and vulnerability.

If you share your struggles and setbacks along with your background and achievements, you’ll be able to relate to others better.

The more open and authentic you are, the more likely you’ve planted the seeds for a deeper connection and friendship.

11) Be friendly. What does it mean to be friendly?

Be approachable and exude a welcoming aura.

When you’re at social events, you know what it feels like when people are hovering over each other in very small cliques, sending off the message that they have no interest or time to talk to you.

Don’t reciprocate this behavior to others.

Being friendly means smiling at others instead of yawns of annoyance or more rounds of Angry Birds on your smartphone.

Being friendly means eye contact and greeting others at the event with “hello’s” and “nice to meet you’s”.

Being friendly means calling people by their names and reaching out to new people whom you don’t know.

I know that these strategies work because it was how I, a generally introverted person, have learned to mix and mingle with others. It’s how I worked in the legal field and the political field.

It’s my careful observation of what worked and what didn’t with successful attorneys and famous politicians.

You can do this – you can be friendly, open and sociable. You can use these skills in a business mixer, social event or holiday dinner party.

You can use these tips at work or at a corporate retreat.

Fine-tuning your social skills and mingling with others will produce new opportunities at work, more advancement and promotions, and more meaningful and lasting friendships.

What are you waiting for – visualize, smile, take a deep breath, believe in yourself and go work that room.

Are you an outgoing person or does it take work for you to be more personable? Please share any tips you’ve used to overcome your shyness and be more outgoing in the comments below.  

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Be Like Edison – Don’t Stop When It Looks Impossible

Posted by on Mar 5, 2014 in Change Your Thoughts | 0 comments

I recently came across a quote I’d never heard from Thomas Edison:

“Nearly every man who develops an idea works at it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then gets discouraged. That’s not the place to become discouraged.”

Thomas Edison, of course, is famous for having never quit when things looked impossible.  When inventing the first commercially practical light bulb, he ran thousands and thousands of experiments before he created a light bulb then would burn for a long period of time.

lightbulb

Edison didn’t invent the first light bulb. The incandescent lamp had already been invented.  What he did was create a version that was commercially practical. Cheap enough to produce and sell en mass, and burned long enough that people would have use for it. The first few either were far too bright to be used inside a home or only lasted a few hours at most.

Again, he tried thousands and thousands of ideas before he found one that worked. His team of inventors and assistants certainly got discouraged and doubtful, but not him. Everyone working with him had the knowledge and ability to create that same invention, but what it came down to was will and perseveranceRefusing to quit. 

The First Thing That Stood Out About The Quote Was…

Two things really struck me about this quote when I read a little more about that period in Edison’s life.   The first is the obvious one:  that when things look impossible, that’s the precise moment that you have to force yourself to continue forward.  That’s the moment where progress and advancement is made.  That ‘wall’ is simply the box or boundaries that you have lived within.

We don’t know what’s on the other side of a wall that we’ve lived behind our whole lives. We don’t know the possibilities or potential, and the only way to find out is to get uncomfortable, have faith in our abilities, and just keep moving forward.

I admire Edison’s ability to keep moving forward in the darkness, so to speak.  He was acutely aware that he could not know everything in any specific moment. He was aware that the only way to learn, grow, and tap his potential was one step at a time. Like walking with a flashlight in the pitch black, you can only see the small area in front of you. But that doesn’t mean that what you can see is all that exists. In reality, there’s a whole world right in front of you.

You may not be able to see it all at once, but if you have faith and keep moving forward, it will reveal itself to you.

And The Second Thing About The Quote…

The other fact that jumped out at me is that he didn’t do it alone. He had a team of inventors and scientist. Most likely they were brilliant people, like himself. They all were perfectly capable of eventually creating what he did. But many of them got discouraged. Some may have quit. Without Edison, that team may have given up after the first thousand failed attempts. Or less.

It wasn’t solely a matter of ability and knowledge that led to this invention. It was Edison’s determination and refusal to quit.  His insistence to continue moving forward even though he had no idea how far he would have to walk in the dark. How long it would take. He just knew his destination was ahead somewhere in front of him.  And he was determined to get there.

I think of how many projects I have started and stopped in my life.  And I imagine what they would look like today if I had forged ahead with them, for years and years.  And it’s those thoughts that keep me forging ahead with my current projects. Refusing to quit when things get tough. Knowing that as things get trying, that I’m actually at a turning point.  That it’s time to focus and keep moving forward.

What about you guys, dear readers? What does this quote or Edison’s experience mean for you? I always learn so much from you all!

To Your Success,

Adel

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